Lord, Please Forgive Me

My life before Christ was a rollercoaster of bad decisions and ungodly actions. I came forward when I was a teenager. Like many teens, I did it out of fear and maybe a little because everyone else was. The church I attended at the time did a drama performance every year called Heaven's Gate, Hell's Flames. It was all hellfire and brimstone and it was after being in this performance that I knew I needed Jesus.

 

Unfortunately, like many teens, I don't think I knew exactly what it meant to be saved and to follow Christ. And it didn't take long for me to call out of favor with God, to turn my back and follow a path of sin instead of salvation. I hung around with the wrong people. I drank and smoked. if it was wrong and sinful, I did it. Over the years I turned further and further from God. I became very depressed, very angry. I wasn't the person I wanted to be or knew I could be. I wasn't a good mother, daughter, sister, friend, or teacher. I felt like a failure. Like I had nothing. Like I didn't belong.

 

During the summer of 2017, while visiting with my parents and my daughter, I felt like my life was about as low as it could get. I had hit rock bottom and felt like my whole world was falling apart. I was going to church every Sunday with them, joining in with my mom at choir practice. I heard my daughter talking about her love for Christ and that's when it hit me, like a ton of bricks. What my life was missing was God. It was because of my daughter's and my mom's faith and love for Christ and a whole lot of prayer that I fell to my knees right then and asked God to come into my life. I prayed and surrendered my life and my all to Him. I had a God-changing moment that summer, an experience that I will never forget and I pray for others to experience.

 

My life since Christ has been amazing. I stand in awe every day of the work that God has done in my life and the beauty of His work all around me. I would love to stand here in front of everyone and say that because I turned my life over to God and asked Him into my life, I am now the perfect Christian. But the truth is, I'm not. None of us are. Like you, I stumble and fall sometimes. But one thing that I have learned is that God doesn't expect me to be perfect. In fact, He tells us over and over again to come as we are. He will make me whole, make me perfect in His image. The change that I have seen in myself is beyond words. I'm happier than I have been in years. I am finally the person I wanted to be, that I knew I could be, all those years ago. Because I have Christ in my life and by my side, I am strong, I am fearless, I can face my giants with confidence. I praise God and thank Him every day for loving me even when I didn't live Him. I thank Him for always being by my side and never turning His back on me. I may and will still stumble, but with God, I will not fall, I will not fail.

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​Written by: A.B. from GA